And check out my joint blog with the love of my life and writing partner Dmytry Karpov: Kimberly ♥ Dmytry

Then his blog: Dmytry Karpov

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Are You Happy?

What's with the cherries?

There’s this book out that’s really quite interesting. It’s all about how we don’t really know what makes us happy. We can’t even use past experience to predict what will make us happy, apparently. According to the studies and all that.

So I’m wondering, as we all gather together for Thanksgiving here in the US, what are we happy for? And do we really get any happiness out of this holiday?

I mean really, most people spend obligatory time with family they’d rather not be around, stuffing their faces with food it took the woman all day to cook, (not me, other women, if you let me in the kitchen I’ll likely burn it down…besides I KNOW cooking DOES NOT bring me happiness, so there’s that) just so everyone can bitch about everyone else when it’s all over.

Can you believe she had the nerve to bring HIM to the dinner?

Wow, she thought that pumpkin pie was the best? Oh dear, that’s bad.

When is he going to tell them he’s gay already? How can they not know?

And so it goes.

OK, maybe your family doesn’t sound like that. And hey, I’m not saying mine does. Nooo, we’re like something out of the Brady Bunch. We sing and dance and solve problems using team work and non-violent communication. Right…

So will I be happy this week as I gather with family?

I don’t know.

I’ll get to see my brother and sister. I’ll get to meet a brother I’ve never met before. (Long story, for another post perhaps.) I’ll get to play with my nephew.

And I’ll have to spend time with people I don’t know. I’ll have to endure a long drive with 4 kids and my parents. I’ll have to say no to anything with wheat, yeast or eggs in it because of stupid food allergies. (Take a moment to contemplate that and you’ll see the real tragedy there.) And I won’t be with the man I love.

I'm allergic to MOST of this
As much as I love biscuits and pumpkin pie, it’s the last one I’m most heartbroken about. I’ll miss Dmytry. Even though he’s a million miles away, I’ll miss having computer and easy phone access to him.

And I swear, this better be the LAST holiday I ever have to spend without him.

So screw the research in that book. I know what makes me happy. He does. Living with and loving him and my kids. That makes me happy. Oh, and writing. I dig that too. (And in case you’re a random agent or publisher or magazine editor, I write a lot and would love to buy you coffee. Call me…)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone. Hope you find that elusive happiness we all talk about and dream about.


  1. I think that as long as we've identified our own happiness, and we are true to that in our lives, then who cares what anyone else says? That is, as long our happiness isn't hurting others, right?

  2. Cristina: Sounds good to me! I think the point of the book is that what we think will make us happy doesn't. But there are so many ways to view happiness. At the core I believe happiness is inherent in us. To "be happy" we simply need to "be." So easy yet so hard to implement consistently! Lol

  3. It is quite a funny question when you think about it... what makes you happy? All in all, like you, it's my husband of 12 years that really makes me happy. Nothing else matters if you can't be together. I really do feel for you that Dmitry (sorry if I spelt that wrong!) couldn't be with you for Thanksgiving. I'm European so we don't do the whole Thanksgiving thing... but we do have the same thing at Christmas, but I live in a country to my family so we spend it with friends. I do however, share your pain about the food allergies (though mine are intolerances... not quite so bad) - mine are gluten and lactose. Nightmare!
    Lovely blog Kimberly.

  4. Definitely my family is what makes me happy. It's the only thing I can point to when I'm feeling miserable that is clearly, definitely a sign that I matter and that I belong.

    I've had friends come and go and jobs, too. No question about it, my family - even when they're grating on my last nerve.

    Another thing makes me happy, after reading about your horrifying Bread and Practically Everything Else Allergy, is that the only thing I'm allergic to is something I like to avoid (bee stings).

  5. Suzy, Sorry to hear about the allergies. It sucks! and love to hear about those who find happiness with their family!

    LOL yea, avoid the bees and be happy for bread. Alas, I'll have to substitute my food cravings for something else. hmmmm... ;) lol Good thing Dmytry will be here soon!