Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Today my diet consisted of a litre of green drinks (blended kale with mangos and strawberries), one tsp of seaweed in OJ, MSM (a supplement) and whole cup full of other supplements that my doctor has me on to control my yeast, increase the healthy bugs in my gut and heal my intestines and to reduce the inflammation in my body. I also took my standard 4 Tramadol. Two in the morning and two at night. The highest dose allowed.
It's not a high end narcotic, like Vicadin. I was on that for awhile. And Percaset. No, this is not in the same ball park, but it is a prescription pain pill. And I've been on pain pills for three years, daily. To manage my chronic pain from Fibromyalgia and several other "no known cause or cure" conditions that have left me in pain and misery.
Until a few months ago, all my previous doctor's doomed me to this for a lifetime. Then I found a doctor in Sebastapol, CA who specializes in lost hope cases such as these. He's successfully treated all my conditions in others, with no drugs or symptoms. I hesitate to use the word "cured." But, no drugs, no symptoms, and blissful health, sounds pretty good to me. He's of a medical ilk of less than 2% of doctors in the world who understand the causal effect of our inner workings and how they relate to and cause so many of those "unknown conditions." So began my treatment.
In the last several months, I've lost weight, my swelling had decreased, I've eliminated nearly everything I used to eat because I found I was allergic, and am gaining energy. I'm not what is considered " healthy" yet, you can't be called healthy when it takes 4 pain pills to get you through the day, apparently. Go figure.
So, the next shift in my radical health/life change, as if diet overhaul, divorce, major moves and single parenthood aren't enough shifts, I am now going off my Tramadol. This is my last week. Apparently a slow and steady reduction doesn't work with this drug, because it's producing the endorphins that my body should be producing, but isn't. My body is depending on the Tramadol. And as long as I keep taking it, even in small doses, my body will feel no need to produce it. So, it's all or nothing. It's time to claim health for real. And I'm terrified.
In preparation, I'm doubling my green drinks and sea week, taking extra supplements my doctor says will help prepare my body, and stocked up on straight Aloe Vera gel. The Aloe Vera isn't to be used the first three days. I've got to get through those on my own, letting my body kick back into gear. After that, the Aloe Vera can be used to help repair tissue, decrease inflammation and pain, etc. But those first three days...well...let's just say I may not be my most congenial. I would have opted for the coma if given the option. But my drug withdrawls don't warrant a three day blank out. So, I have to suffer every moment of pain and agony until my body learns how to work again.
I've cleared the week. The kids have summer school around the corner. I'll make sure the house is clean and food is prepped for them, and that I've got all my green drinks ready. I'm lining up comedies to watch (to get the laughter endorphins in as back-up), books to read, computer stuff to keep me busy, art projects to distract me, baths, naps, anything and everything that can help me transition. I'll be journaling. Feeling things the drugs have been repressing. Releasing. All those fun things we schedule right next to root canals. Fortunately my teeth are healthy.
This is an important step for me. To reclaim my health. To scale to a higher plateau of energy and vitality. To truly stretch my wings and engage myself in the best way possible. But, I apparently have to walk through hell to get there. Thus begins the journey. I'll keep you posted.