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Monday, June 1, 2009

Once Upon A Time

Once Upon a Time…

Once upon a time there was a girl who was very smart, but was very scared of love. She worked very hard and was accepted at a very important school on the other side of the lands of her birth. This girl studied very hard and made many friends, but her heart was still hidden. Then one day while looking for a very special book in a book store, a young man bumped into her. “Pardon me miss, I thought you to be a chair,” he said. She found the boy very charming and kind and so she called him.
The next day he arrived at her home, braving the snowy winds. She was so happy to see him again that she cooked him a meal, even though she hated to cook. That night they spend hours in her bed talking, laughing, and making love. The girl had been with other boys before, but she knew this one was different. The next morning he called her and the sound of his voice brightened her day.
On Tuesday it was Halloween, and once again he called to wish her a good day. By Wednesday the girl was very anxious to talk to him again, but she wasn’t sure which number to call. She dialed one number, then panicked and hung up thinking it was the wrong number. But, knowing how badly she wanted to talk to him again, she called another number. His father answered, but she didn’t panic. The young man was very happy to hear from her, which made the girl very happy.
They talked for four hours, and would have talked longer, but the girl had much work to do, as did the boy. However, they couldn’t seem to end their conversation. They told this to each other with awkward pauses and giggled. They talked in hypotheticals about their lives. “So, hypothetically speaking, of course, were we to marry, would I have to convert to Judaism?” she asked the boy. “Any, again hypothetically, would I need to change my last name?”
The boy and girl talked about many things…drugs, sex, religion, children, holidays, and family and in the end they had to decide, “So, what are we?”
There was a long pause as they both thought about this. Both the girl and the boy were terrified of love and so they were both very scared about being in a relationship.—Not that they were in love, mind you. It was much too soon to bring the “L” word into play. They did talk about dating other people, but why? They asked.
“If I have the choice between going on an awkward first date with some stranger, or fucking you, there’s no choice,” the girl said matter-of-factly to the boy.
He agreed, and so they resigned themselves to the terrifying but exciting rollercoaster ride relationships.
So now she has a boyfriend, and he has a girlfriend, and they are both really scared, but also very excited. They feel different when they’re with each other. The girl knows that the boy will be honest with her, even when it hurts. She believes she can trust him. She was never able to trust anyone before. And while this trust is limited, it’s a start. She’s not sure what makes this boy different, but while she’s scared, she’s also happy, and so she wonders what will happen next? What is to become of them?
There are many things they have yet to learn about each other, but in time those things will reveal themselves. For now they are just trying to keep from panicking as they enjoy the excitement of being with one another. But, the girl needs a new phone plan or she’ll be broke by Christmas.

----Postscript---
Alas, this boy was not so different, and by Christmas he became one of many memories of relationships doomed to failure, though it ended on a mutually pleasant note of a feigned friendship that never manifested. Nevertheless, thereafter the girl was never again mistaken for bookstore furniture, and she continued on her quest to find love and trust in a world full of fear and betrayal. She is even now still searching.